i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
