Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
