she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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