I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize