U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
