What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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