dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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