butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
