as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
