i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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