So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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