i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
