I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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