so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
