She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
