Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
