Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
