I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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