I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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