haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
