This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
