I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
