I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
