I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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