you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
