So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
