What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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