chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
