If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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