everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
