He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
