I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
