tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
