oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
