I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
