was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
