If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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