It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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