It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
