3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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