What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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