She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
