i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
