Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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