How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
