Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize