Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
