Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
