Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
