We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
