I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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