gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
