Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
