Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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