btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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