There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
