I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
