1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
pop tarts are not kleenex
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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