i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry about my life...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
