"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
