It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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