Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
